Collateral Damage ?

Haolenphai village in Chandel district, Manipur is once again in the news. The village is about 5 kilometres from Moreh town, an important Indo-Myanmar border trade centre.

Earlier, tension had been shimmering in this border village after Myanmar Army tried to open camps in their village, claiming the area lies within their country. According to the villagers the neighbouring country’s troops were frequently patrolling the area and have even asked the inhabitants of Haolenphai to leave the “encroach area”.Moreover, it was reported that the Army personnel were in the process of shifting the Myanmar border pillars into Indian territory in Haolenphai and adjoining villages.Villagers also alleged that Myanmarese farmers were felling large number of tress in area for Jhum (shifting) cultivation.

Following this developments, last year the Centre government halted the controversial India-Myanmar border fencing exercise which had been taken up along the Moreh sector by Border Roads Organization (BRO).

Now, Hoalenphai dwellers are yet again faced with another challenge of losing their village land, as the new government pushes its way forward in taking up development ventures.

Stiff opposition came from the village chief , the Thadou Student Association (TSA) and other civil bodies against the setting of a 3,000-acre smart city in this border area in and around Haolenphai village. Several forms of agitation have been taken out such as blockade of national highway, bandhs and Peaceful demonstrations were taken out in several art of Manipur including in New Delhi.

The said border area have also been earmarked for setting up of “New Commercial Town ship” The master plan 2012 – 2032 is undertaken by Town and Country Planning Organization, MoUD , GoI and Manipur government.

Though the proposed smart city is yet to take its form, media reports in Manipur had quoted the state Industry Minister Govindas Konthoujam as saying that the required 3000 acres of land had been acquired for the smart city.

This led to a stir with village chief and villagers coming out in defence of their rights and law of the land. A village of about 100 households, Haolenphai is inhabitanted by the Thadou – Kuki tribals who were dependent on agriculture and natural resources from the surrounding forest produce.

In fact, if land acquisition take place, these villages will be physically bulldozed and the dwellers be displaced , not only from the land but from their basic livelihood. Further, for indegineous tribals , land is not only an emotive issue but a political one too.

According to the Thadou Student Association the proposed plan for smart city nor the said land acquisition, if any, was not in the knowledge of the village Chief. The move against the consent of Tribal Chief is a disrespect and suppression of the right of the indigenous tribals which is also against the very basis of democracy.

The TSA’s memorandum submitted to the State Chief Minister and Prime Minister demanded to revoke the said land acquisition.

"Concept note on Smart Cities" was unvield in September by Urban Minister Venkaiah Naidu. According to the Ministry , the important feature of the smart city is access to information, such as city datas, information related to various service providers , transports and information for potential investors, through multiple channels – internet , mobile, apps, radio Tv etc.

Setting up 100 Smart City in several regional locations across the country is a concept of taking urban middle class living into a new level , where 24/7 utilities services with technology-based governance and monitoring of services to be provided to citizens. Earlier during the Budget session Finance Minister Arun Jaitley had promised an allocation of Rs 7,060 crore.

Meanwhile the new Government is keen on pushing pending development projects in North East India. The Minister for DoNER, has assured for time bound completion of major infrastructure projects of Rail, Road, Telecom, Inland Water Transport, Airports and Power in the North Eastern Region.

As gateway to South East Asian countries , the North East region’s economic and strategic advantages hold a important role and is the key to advancing regional influence. Look East policy have also been re-termed “Act East Policy“ recently by Prime Minister Modi in his addressed at the East Asia Summit at Nay Pyi Daw in Myanmar. Government of India has also taken steps for the development of road and port projects in Myanmar, improvement of customs facilities at the Indo-Myanmar border, development of road and rail connectivity in Bangladesh for access to sea ports and appropriate customs facilities at the Indo-Bangladesh border.

But for people living in the periphery, this creates fear and insecurity. The slogans say it all. Thadou Students who held a demonstration recently in Delhi called to “ save Hoalenphai village” “ save our tribals lands”.

Asserting that tribals in the hills have their own system of land holding based on customary and traditional practice, the student demonstrators alleged that their rights have been systematically violated and that the proposed project is an attempt to grab the tribal lands.

For people in the village their utmost need are basic amenities and facilities such as hospitals and better education. Opposition to projects that are not viable for people is not anti-development per se , said Thangpimang Kipgen one of the Student leader. According to him ,in the present situation and context , where Villagers were dependent on the forest land and forest produce their livelihood would be wiped out. The main concern , the student leader stated is that villagers do not have the required skills and knowledge to take advantage of such “smart cities” and therefore the benefit of such development will automatically go to “non- inhabitants/villagers” and that none of the villagers will make it to the new city. Another concern being , that displacement will further led to being wiped out completely as a community, thus their very core existence is at stake. Demonstrators also cautioned that the said proposed lands are areas of thick forest lands. Destruction of the forest lands will pose grave threats to the eco diversity and environment.

Will the poor tribal villagers be considered a mere collateral damage in the process of development and progress is something that needs a serious re-thinking. While displacement of 100 household may be ‘insignificant’ in the larger concept and vision of development and economic advancement , it may also be noted that huge investment as far as north east is concern have not yield any desired output, let alone profit. Mega dams in the region are such examples where mega projects stands as mere physical infrastructure.

NE SUN

November 2014

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Best Of Times Lyrics

Remember days of yesterday how it flew so fast
The two score and a year we had I thought would always last
Those summer days and west coast dreams I wished would never end
A young boy and his father, idol and best friend

I'll always remember, those were the best of times
A life time together, I'll never forget

The morning shows on the radio, the Case of the Missing Dog
Lying on the pillows at the old 812 watching Harold and Maude
The record shops, the stick ball fields, my home away from home
And when we weren't together, the hours on the phone

I'll always remember, those were the best of times
I'll cherish them forever, the best of times
But then came the call, our lives changed forever more
You can pray for a change but prepare for the end

The fleeting winds of time flying through each day
All the things I should've done but time just slipped away
Remember seize the day
Life goes by in the blink of an eye with so much left to say

These were the best of times, I'll miss these days
Your spirit lit my life each day

Thank you for the inspiration, thank you for the smiles
All the unconditional love that carried me for miles
It carried me for miles
But most of all thank you for my life

These were the best of times, I'll miss these days
Your spirit lit my life each day
My heart is bleeding bad but I'll be okay
Your spirit guides my life each day

Songwriters
PETRUCCI, JOHN / PORTNOY, MICHAEL / MYUNG, JOHN / RUDESS, JORDAN

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Malicious Mainland

By Ninglun Hanghal

People from the North-east continue to feel unsafe in Delhi and other metropolises despite the Centre’s assurance to provide them helplines. This month alone three incidents took place. An engineering student from Manipur and two friends were beaten up in Bangalore for not speaking Kannada. Two students from Nagaland were assaulted in Gurgaon. A girl from Mizoram was found dead in her rented Munirka room under mysterious circumstances.

Here is a list of incidents in the national capital over the years, drawn from media reports:
On 8 May 2005, a 20-year-old Delhi University student and her friend were abducted from Daula Kuan (South Delhi). While her friend escaped, she was gang-raped in a moving car by four men. Only one person, Ajit Singh Katiyar, was arrested. He was sentenced to 14 years’ rigorous imprisonment in December 2009. The defence counsel is said to have challenged the order in a higher court.

On 24 November 2010, a 30-year-old BPO employee and her friend were abducted at gun point on their way home in Moti Bagh, South Delhi. While her friend escaped and alerted the girl’s relatives, the victim was gang-raped by five men in a truck. The court reportedly ordered payment of Rs 1.5 lakh as compensation for the survivor in May 2014. A Delhi court sentenced the five men to life imprisonment. Except these two cases in which the accused were punished, many others are pending.
In the wee hours of 3 December 2008, the landlord and his men knocked on the door of the room rented by two women from Manipur, asking them to pay rent. This happened in Sikenderpur, Gurgaon (NCR). Their plea that payment would be made early the next morning was of no avail. The landlord broke into the room, abused and assaulted them. Somehow the two managed to ring up their friends who lived nearly and they came to their rescue. The status of the case is not known.
On 17 April 2009, a six-year-old girl from Manipur was allegedly raped and murdered at Mahipalpur, South Delhi. At noon, she was said to have gone to the terrace of their rented house to dry clothes. When she did not return her mother went up to look for her. After more than half an hour’s search, the mother found her daughter’s body inside the water tank of an adjacent building. The body was sent to Spinal Injury Centre, Vasantkunj, where it was confirmed that she had been raped and murdered. The case is pending.
On 4 October 2009, around 11.20 pm, 19-year-old Ramchanphy Hongray from Manipur was raped and murdered in her sister’s rented room in Munirka, Delhi. She had come to visit her sister and when the latter had left for work, Pushpa Kumar, an IIT student, forced his way into her room and allegedly raped and murdered her.
To make it look like a case of suicide, he reportedly poured kerosene over her body and set it on fire. In July 2010, the court framed charges against the accused for murder and tampering with the evidence. The case is pending.
On 29 May 2013, a 21-year-old beautician from Manipur was found dead under mysterious circumstances in her rented flat at Delhi’s Chirag. No one was arrested. The case was handed over to the CBI following strong protests.
o In January 2014, teenaged student Nido Tania from Arunachal succumbed to injuries after being beaten up by some shopkeepers of Lajpat Nagar. Nido had gone to the area with three friends and was looking for an address when someone at a sweet shop began mocking his hairstyle. Nido responded by breaking a glass door of the sweetshop. Twenty-two-year-old Farman, 27-year-old Akram and 27-year-old Pawan were booked. In May, the CBI dropped charges of murder, saying the accused had no intention of killing him. The status of the case is not known.
In February 2014, two women from Manipur, Chonmila and Jajo, were assaulted and abused by a group of youths in South Delhi’s Kotla Mubarakpur area. According to complaints by the two women, when one of the culprits tied the leash of his dog to Chonmila’s boots, she panicked and in a bid to free herself she kicked the dog. Seeing this, the men started beating her up. When Jajo tried to intervene, she too was thrashed by the men who allegedly passed racist comments. There are no reports of any arrest and the case is pending.
On 7 February 2004, a 14-year-old girl from Manipur was raped by her landlord’s son in South Delhi’s Munirka. It was reported that when she was making some purchases the culprit — Vicky — allegedly accosted her and forced her to a nearby room and raped her. The girl is said to have received compensation but it is not known whether the culprit has been booked.
On 22 May 2004 at 10 pm, when a woman from Nagaland was returning home after alighting at Vishwavidyalaya Metro station, a man followed her, passed lewed remarks, caught her and started molesting her near Delhi University. When she resisted she was slapped. Some passers-by overpowered the molester and handed him over to the police. At the police station, it was revealed that he was a lawyer from Tis Hazari Courts.
The next day, some NE students accompanied the woman to the Tis Hazari Court to record her statement. But they were attacked by a group of lawyers. Naga Students’ Union president Maivio J Woba, Zeliangrong Students’ Union president Rachubui Pamei and advocate Liyi were assaulted. The matter is yet to be placed in the court.
On 30 June 2014, a woman entrepreneur living in Gurgaon was harassed and intimidated by a man who identified himself as a RAW official. He allegedly barged into her room, interrogated and accused her of indulging in anti- social activities. The status of the case is not known.
On 5 -6 July 2014, 28-year-old Wilungbou Chawang was found dead in the Chirag Dilli area. The body was fished out from a nullah after locals reported the matter to the police. His younger brother filed a complaint at the Malviya Nagar police station. Investigation is yet to begin.
On 21 July 2014, a Manipuri youth was beaten to death by a group of youths in South Delhi’s Kotla Mubarakpur area.
Incidents in other cities include:
On the evening of 13 August 2005 in Mumbai, a man attacked two girls from Manipur while they were taking pictures and feeding pigeons at the Gateway of India. Twenty-three-year-old Leishichon died on the spot while her friend Ngahuimi Raleng was severely injured. According to the police, the attacker, 27-year-old Juner Patel, was mentally unstable. The Maharashtra government reportedly paid compensation to the victim’s family.
In October 2010, the Goa police rescued 11 Naga and Mizo girls from a beauty parlour at Povorim, alleging that the owner of the parlour was running a flesh trade. According to the police, the case came to light after the girls fled the parlour and informed their parents back home, who in turn informed their respective state forces. Both the girls and the owner have denied charges against them.
Following this incident, it was made mandatory for people from the North-east to report to the police for verification, particularly those women working in beauty parlours and private enterprises in Goa. Some who went to report alleged that they were asked weird questions, some with innuendos such as “whether you are from Nagaland in connection with the case or whether you have come to Goa for the same job”.
In August 2012, Bangalore witnessed a mass exodus of North-easternes following threats via social media networking telling them to leave. Thousands working in Pune, Bangalore, Mumbai and Hyderabad left.
Legislation, quick disposal of cases and stringent punishment are desirable to effectively curb racial violence against North-easterners.

The writer is A Delhi-based freelance contributor
The Statesman, NE page, October 27,2014

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"See You On The Other Side" Lyrics

[O.Osbourne - L.Kilmister - Z.Wylde]

Voices, A Thousand, Thousand Voices
Whispering, The Time Has Passed For Choices
Golden Days Are Passing Over, Yeah

I Can't Seen To See You Baby
Although My Eyes Are Open Wide
But I Know I'll See You Once More

When I See You, I'll See You On The Other Side
Yes, I'll See You, I'll See You On The Other Side

Leaving, I Hate To See You Cry
Grieving, I Hate To Say Goodbye
Dust And Ash Forever, Yeah

Though I Know We Must Be Parted
As Sure As Stars Are In The Sky
I'm Gonna See You When It Comes To Glory

And I'll See You, I'll See You On The Other Side
Yes, I'll See You, I'll See You On The Other Side

Never Thought I'd Feel Like This
Strange To Be Alone, Yeah
But We'll Be Together
Carved In Stone, Carved In Stone, Carved In Stone

Hold Me, Hold Me Tight I'm Falling
Far Away, Distant Voices Calling
I'm So Cold, I Need You Darling, Yeah

I Was Down, But Now I'm Flying
Straight Across The Great Divide
I Know You're Crying, But I'll Stop You Crying

When I See You I See You On The Other Side
Yes, I'll See You, See You On The Other Side
I'm Gonna See You, See You On The Other Side
God Knows I'll See You, See You On The Other Side, Yeah

I'll See You, See You On The Other Side
I'm Gonna See You, See You On The Other Side
God Knows I'll See You, See You On The Other Side, Yeah
I Wanna See You, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, See You On The Other Side
God Knows I'll See You, See You On The Other Side

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Big CIty Life Lyrics

Big city life,
Me try forget by,
Pressure nah ease up no matter how hard me try.
Big city life,
Here my heart have no base,
And right now Babylon deep on me case.

People in a show,
All lined in a row.
We just push on by,
Its funny,
How hard we try.

Take a moment to relax.
Before you do anything rash.

Don't you wanna know me?
Be a friend of mine.
I'll share some wisdom with you.
Don't you ever get lonely,
From time to time
Don't let the system get you down

[Chorus]

Soon our work is done,
All of us one by one.
Still we live our lives,
As if all this stuff survives.

I take a moment to relax,
Before I do anything rash.

[Bridge]
The Linguist across the seas and the oceans,
A permanent Itinerant is what I've chosen.
I find myself in big city prison, arisen from the vision of man kind.
Designed, to keep me discreetly neatly in the corner,
You'll find me with the flora and the fauna and the hardship.
Back a yard is where my heart is still I find it hard to depart this big city life.

[Chorus]

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What comes around goes around

Hiai a tung a thuvual pen keimah mimal a kana tuah pansan a nei in a dik na hon kuppih leng ka ut hi, class 9 ka zil kum in mikhat hoih kana sa tei a, va hel ngam ciah lou lawmte toh chu khatvei vahel khom nainai huai nung chu kei kia ngen a tung, nitak teng phial in ka ngaihtuah kha gge a ka hai chil petmah, kumte hn kivei zel in pawl 11 ka hih in nungak dang khat mobile tungtawn in kon ki mai kha ua ken chu play na dan maimai a ka try le zou chih le aman hn ngaipetmah ken chu nidg a hoih kasak nu mah va hel zel thou, khatvei ka nungaknu toh kimu khin ka hoih sak nu hel dia ka pai le hn thei inchin cih le ken le khen mok aman pona petmah hon kah khum hial, tu khonung khong a hon na ngaihluat dan ki thei khe pan,
hunte hn paizel in laisim na ziak in Delhi kon tungtou a Delhi a mikhat toh kon ki mai kha non ua delhi a nu toh chu kaki hah thuah petmah uh himai tutan ka manghilh moh hial vangsiat huai tak in kum khat val kaki ngaih poh nung in kon ki khen non ta uhi , hucin innlam a summertime zang dia ka pai sung in nungak khT va try khe non tua nu toh zoh kithuah tam lou in ka paisan pan a awlaal a ki thu zak lou in ki thuzak non lou a kikhen suak kha, kum te bang hn mualliam zel in 2013 kumbul kon lut ta chu nuthoi khat toh ki ngai kha non get nuthoi ahih lam ka thei a khen chet hon kah khum ngoihngoih mai nuam kei ei, a zoh summer hon hi ta, Facebook a kana kichat pih gge khat toh kon ki ngai non ua ken le cu ka ngai petmah a aman le chu hn ngai petmah a hilele ka past life te hn thei semsem cia lunglelh na neih ahi dia kon kikhen zel ua ka pona tel mai, hucin, kumtawp lam hn hita Nungak khat toj kon ki mai kha non ua tua nu toh chu full time a ki thuah himai, ki teng di tanphial khong a ki itna ka neih lai un kei lungsim siat ziak in kikhen na kawlni hn suak zel chu a guk in ka kapkap mai. Hisi a ka thiltuah tengteng ka ngaihtuah kik cia kei pat khelh ngen ahi, abul tung in mi kana sukha se lua a tua kei a dia khasiat na hn tjng ahi ka ci lou thei kei, what comes around goes around chu kei mimal ting a dia dik pet mah i ka muh hiai teng na sim khit nung in kei mohna ngen ahi chih hn theih pih un aw sangamte

Mohsak di kuamah kanei kei, chiloung taklou mah kahi huci pipi a hon ngai lsi a om tei tei ua ke mi ham pha kahi di

Kawktuam nei a gelh le kahi kei ana,

Itna ichih mi play na di ahih louh dan kon shAre ut ziak a hiai bang kon gelh ahi, mitui a mantam dan thei chiat ni uh misu kha siat louh hoih pen leh vual zawl huai ahi. Gelh khel om leh ngaihdam, simtu tengteng omnuam

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Me in the office

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Nice

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How to Shut Down Multiple Computers from One Location

Step1

Make sure you are logged onto your PC as the administrator and that the other computers you want to shut down are connected directly or on the same network.

Step22

Click “Start” and go to “Run." Once the Run GUI opens, type “shutdown –i” in the box, without the quotation marks, and press “Enter."

Step33

A new GUI will pop-up entitled “Remote Shutdown Dialog." Click the “Add” button to add the computers that you wish to shut down.

Step44

Another GUI will pop-up entitled “Add Computers." Add the IP Address of each computer you want to shut down. You can add each IP Address at one time. Once entered, press “OK” to continue.

Step55

Once the computers are added, select what action you want the computers to perform. Click the arrow button where it asks “What do you want these computers to do?" Choose which action you want the computers to perform: restart, shutdown, or log off. Select the “Warn Users of this Action” box and set the amount of time you want the warning to display.

Step66

Select the option that best describes the reason for the action from the “Option” drop-down screen. You can also type in comments in the “Comment” box that users will see when their computers goes to shutdown, restart or log off.

Step77

Click the “OK” button when finished. Unless you changed the warning display time, the users will receive a System Shutdown Window” on their screen after 30 seconds of clicking the “OK” button

What can the shutdown command do?
The shutdown command can be use via the command prompt, the remote shutdown dialog window, or in a batch file. You can logoff, shutdown, or restart a computer with this tool. You can even set the shutdown tool to perform a task at a certain time on certain days and to many computers at one time using a batch file.
This is a good tool to easily shutdown or restart lots of computers on a network at one time. It can also be handy for helpdesk technicians when fixing remote computers.
Shutdown Command via Dialog Window
Typing commands in a DOS window is not what most computer users want to fool with so I’m going to start by showing you how to use the dialog window to use the shutdown tool.
To open the dialog window click start, click run, type cmd and press enter. A black DOS looking window will open. Type shutdown -i and press enter. A window similar to the one below will popup.

Under computers type the network name of the computer you want to shutdown, restart, or logoff. In this example I will use \\yourcomputer. You can use your computer’s name to try the commands on your computer if you like.
If you don’t know a computers name right click my computer, select properties, select the computer name tab. Your computer name is listed next to full computer name.
To send these commands to other computers across your network you need to have administrative privileges on those computers. An easy way to see if you have administrative privileges on a networked computer is to try browsing to it. Click start, click run, type \\yourcomputer (replace yourcomputer with your computer’s name of course) and press enter. If you are able to access the computer you will be able to send shutdown commands to it. If you get asked for a password or it denies access you don’t have administrative privileges and you won’t be able to send shutdown commands to that computer.
In this example I’m going to shutdown computer \\yourcomputer on my network. Before it shuts down it’s going to show a message for 20 seconds.
The first thing you need to do is add which computer you want to shutdown. Click add and type your computer name in the add computers box.

You can send the command to multiple computers by pressing enter after the name of each computer and typing the name of the next computer on the next line. Each computer needs to be on its own line.
Click OK when you are finished adding the computer(s) you want to send the command to.
Under what do you want these computers to do: tell it to shutdown, restart, or logoff.
If you want a box to popup on the computer(s) you are sending the command to that lets them know the computer is about to shutdown, restart, or logoff in X many seconds leave warn users of the action checked off. If you want to change how many seconds to countdown before performing the action you can change that next to seconds.
You can tell a user on the computer you are about to perform the action on why you are performing that action by typing your message in under comment.
Click OK to send the command to the computer(s).

If you get an error when sending the command it will look like the one below.

Shutdown Command via Command Prompt
The shutdown command becomes more flexible and automated when used from the command prompt. To run the shutdown command from the command prompt, go to start, run, type cmd, andpress enter. In the black box (the command prompt) type shutdown and the switches you want to use with the shutdown command. You have to use at east one switch for the shutdown command to work.
The Switches
The shutdown command has a few options called switches. You can always see them by typing shutdown -? in the command prompt if you forget any of them.
-i: Display GUI interface, must be the first option
-l: Log off (cannot be used with -m option)
-s: Shutdown the computer
-r: Shutdown and restart the computer
-a: Abort a system shutdown
-m \\computername: Remote computer to shutdown/restart/abort
-t xx: Set timeout for shutdown to xx seconds
-c “comment”: Shutdown comment (maximum of 127 characters)
-f: Forces running applications to close without warning
-d [u][p]:xx:yy: The reason code for the shutdown u is the user code p is a planned shutdown code xx is the major reason code (positive integer less than 256) yy is the minor reason code (positive integer less than 65536)
Please note: I’ve noticed using a switch with a - sign doesn’t work sometimes. If you are having trouble try using a / in place of - in your switches.
Examples
shutdown –m \\computername –r –f This command will restart the computer named computername and force any programs that might still be running to stop.
shutdown –m \\computername –r –f –c “I’m restarting your computer. Please save your work now.” –t 120 This command will restart the computer named computername, force any programs that might still be running to stop, give to user on that computer a message, and countdown 120 seconds before it restarts.
shutdown –m \\computername –a This command will abort a previous shutdown command that is in progress.
Using a Batch File
You can create a file that performs the shutdown command on many computers at one time.
In this example I’m going to create a batch file that will use the shutdown command to shut down 3 computers on my home network before I go to bed.
Open notepad and type the shutdown command to shut down a computer for each computer on the network. Make sure each shutdown command is on its own line. An example of what should be typed in notepad is below.
shutdown –m \\computer1 –s
shutdown –m \\computer2 –s
shutdown –m \\computer3 -s
Now I’ll save it as a batch file by going to file, save as, change save as type to all files, give the file a name ending with .bat. I named mine shutdown.bat. Pick the location to save the batch file in and save it.
When you run the batch file it’ll shutdown computer1, 2, and 3 for you.
You can use any combination of shutdown commands in a batch file. I just used the one above as an example

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Quotes that can make you laugh and think at the same time. laugh. lol

One day there was a Bihari going in a Fiat Car at 45KMPH on a highway and enjoying his drive.
Suddenly a Sardaji came Booiiiiiiiiinnnnnnn on a Honda and peeped into the car and shouted at the Bihari - "Kabhi honda chalaya kya?" and sped off, The Bihari was surprised but he did not bother. After some time the Surd came Booiiiinnnnnnnnnnn... in the opposite direction, peeped into the car and shouted again "kabhi honda chalaya kya?" and sped off , This time the Bihari was annoyed , since the surd was teasing about his driving.
After some time again the Surd came back speeding and said the same thing peeping into the car. The Bihari was about to say something but the Surd goes off. This time the Bihari increased his speed but suddenly stopped as he found the Surd lying on the road, bleeding. He got down and mocked at the Surd "Kyon Surd , Kabhi Honda chalaye kya?" The Surd said "Wohi to puch raha tha, Mein Brakes ko dhoond rahatha."

Santa and a friend are sitting in a cinema. Just before the break they see a cactus and in some distance a cowboy. During the break the friend says to santa:"I bet the cowboy will ride into the cactus."
Santa answers: "I do not believe that."
They agree that the loser invites the winner to a bottle of wine after the film. It turns out that the friend wins. So after the film they drink together the bottle of wine in a restaurant near the cinema.
Then the friend says: "I must confess that the bet was not fair. I saw the film for the second time."
Then Santa replies: "And I saw it for the fourth time, but I did not think that this fool rides into the cactus again."

Santa and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Santa says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were sitting on a tree and Santa Singh was singing a song.After 4 songs Santa Singh hung himself upside down and started singing again.
Banta Singh : Santa Singh, what is the matter with you? Why are you hanging upside down?
Santa Singh : I am singing the B side.

Santa Singh: "My doctor told me to drink carrot juice after a hot bath to cure my cold."
Banta Singh: "Does it work?"
Santa Singh: "I don't know... I can never finish drinking the hot bath

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Nuihchiam - II

Vungzamuan Valte | Friday, 21 September 2012 20:09 | Vungzamuan Valte | Hits: 1233

Hinkhaw nuamsaktu a tamtheipen bawl khe le chihhuaina tel e:

41. Songtal papi khat le kipilsak deuh hiven, sapte a pil uh na chi ua, puannuai a zang ka lit leh a thei teuh kei, chizeih dan ahi.

42. Mikhat le a khualzinna lam ah inntekte nungak zanlai a gem khualkhual, nungaknu kikoukhia inchin a inntekpa`n a khawnvak ngamkhat a heksang zot (lupna gei a kikoih hiven), mikhualpa zahmoh lim khong chu innbaang khong a kikhai goigoi maidan ahih chu, (Shadow).

43. Khua khat a le tangval khat luck lawtel mahmah, khosung nungak ten`, “a hatlou pen in Lianpu kitenpih di” chi ua tai suangsuang zel uh, Thangnu pen bang houh hat zawzen, a hatpen a pang gige. Himahleh, Lianpu pen Thangnu toh kiteng daih uh (pilna chikhat ahi, lawmte khem ngai).

44. Nupi khat le chiamnuih hat lawtel, na damthei thou hia, koilam teng le? Khatin achih thahah leh, a hahchiau thei lai, hitaang nap le tolhsak thei laisam ahi, chi.

45. Nupi fel mahmah khat le papi khat toh kihoulim uh, numeite thilneih khong genkhawm ua, numei nawi neideuh louz-aw chih. Khat nu`n pasalte na houh houh utoh, huai numeite chi-gah leltak khong, na kipahna uh le a houh houh toh chihsan hiau.

46. Nupi khat le sum tampi muphut inchin, ei zaw kizawng lua inchin, tua sum hiai zahzah ka muh leh ASALAM DOG million ka hi, chizeih. Midangte hunchia`h a mu tam mah du, chizawmah lai.

47. Papi khat le ann ne lai, a chil dawk hehhoh zenhouh, a tate`n taiteh a tepsak uh, hehdi lah hilou, nat –lah-na bok-si, na pianna uh ahi, pheiphuai gouh, chi ek sam.

48. Nupi khat le a nesemte intunglam a kal ganggang uh, khat in khekor tom kol depduap teng hiven, a nuailam apat chu a keltal chilpol gah nih kai giahgiah kimuthei, nupi nu`n enlah sim hiam a, chiang kang a dawt tou gang gang, a sapna hi maithei chi uh.

49. Andrews Ganj a kikhopna kipan hiven, khatvei kikhawm zou mi pai sasauh uh, papite kitchen a tukual ua sakramen chituam deuh hawm uh, maizen pu Khai in hihding nei a kilehkik zual, kitchen a va dak zenzen, inntek pa hamhaihgawp in, “Khai-a, na deihtei hia?” Chi kha zawzen, khatpen in, “zenzenzenzenzenzen”, chia paisan hiau.

50. Khua khat a le, pasal khat kichei ut mahmah om, coat suit toh travalta toh pai trahtrah deuhreng, nunglam ah chu Devahan a bang chi ua, paikhel vatvat a palak khat in a mailam va en inchin, e he hee, aa khai, NON KHEM CHIANG VE, chih khum mawk.

51.Nupa kiteng thak khat om ua, zing annnek lai a numei pen nuinui maimah, a tawp a kidamzoulou, “da`ntah a ei gel neunuau pi, neunou tazen”, chia nui ek ek zawmah, a pasal pen mai san um um.

52.Mi khat le zi deih lua inchin, puan ak hilou, pheikhok le hilou, khekor le hilou ka deih, kingaihtuah ua, chia a nu leh pa te sal loiloi. Mi khat in lah, zi nei fuh kisa-sim zaw hiding hiven, aa khai a, akiman eem mai, a man va piak behlap ua, chia a pate sawl mawk, chihdan ahi.

53. Veng khat a le tuailaite kikhawm unchin, a thohlawm khonte uh latna khat in nei, a thuum zoh tak ua a thohlawm uh ana mang hiau.

54. Lamphel papite hi seselou, khat le kikhopna ah alawmpa ihmu derdar hiven, veih pekpung mawk, a ihmupen kawk chenchen, mi tengteng in a lawmpa en kheukhou maimah uh, heh lawtel a.

55. Khawkhat a le nupite kikhawm teisam unchin, khat in thohlawm latna hon nei, Aw Toupa, hiai ka zaat-sawm uh, chithahah. Zatsawm chu kimawl munsim uh hihtuak.

56. Papi khat le thumna nei venchin, Aw Toupa, hiai ka thohlawm uh, Asoka Hotel a zankhat tunman le phakei mahleh, chi tetauh mawk.

57. Nupi khat le a pasal neih nunga laithon mu, a et leh appointment lehkha hiven, kikoukhe tualtual mai, U Thang ei, U Thang e, hiai kaam ka muh di lam thei leng hon neilou mah di hi`ng a aw, chi vangvang mawk, a pasal in phunlou paulou a office kuansan phanphan lel.

58. Palsal khat le khualzin sawtsim zaw hingei di hiven, inn atuntak a innleeng om kheukhou mawk uh, amah le bathroom a kibual hanhan, a ngaih a ngaih a, ka nung honnawtsak uai chia kikou tuaituai maimah, sawtsimtak zaw kinawt uh hihtuak, chidan uh ahi.

59.Papi khat le khopi a khosak hautak sa-lawtel, elektic fee le tamlua, chi`a a sungkuante zoudawnlam a paisak geih, amahbel kitoudelhtak ahingei di`a, ATM cabin a giak zeih zel.

60. Nupi khat toh papi khat houlim ua, nupinu`n pasalte na buaihuai huai u`toh, chimawk, khat pa`n le bang chidan in e, chi. Nupipe`n kipan taktakta, numeite maw I nau neihneihna khong kepkep, thuapthuap, belhbelh, repair pair ngai ahi, pasalte na lungkimna ding uh ahautak lua uptodate ngaiden chi, daih mai a le.

61. Nupi khat le anumeilam ki-at hiveh aw, operation theatre apat honsawn pawt uh, a nunu in hehpihlua hiding hiven, Bawi, bang na duh a, naa nasa hia? Achih leh, harhlou deuh kawm a, Khaini ka duh, ka neh ah hon koihsak ua, a nuamtuan di, chi, a nu`n le, lawmlawm tel, awwww.

62. Nupi khat le foreign a zinkhia hiveh aw, khaini, kuber, raja muzou mawng2 lou, a lohngaihna theilou, a puakteng lah bei sipsipta, a tawp atawp a India te omkhawmna deuh musuah inchin va guk-kan siausiau, Dollar 5 a kuber packet khat lei toih maisam eive.

63. Paipi khat le thaiboi lawtel mahmah, electric switch gei a ding reenroon kawm a, “hiai a ka fan “on” sa kua ahia off, kindeuh in hong on heh aw, chia ding phenphan.

64. Papi khat le gari lei inchin, driving zir ut bilbellou, a zizi in nervous kawmkawm a khalh nitnit, alawmte`n bang dia na lei e, chih leh, nupite`n a sun a zan a ahonpuak di mah uh ahi, painalam di control tu ka hi chi-a a front seat apat huailam ah, hiailam ah, kawl oh, chi-a kawk-kual zatzat.

65. Nupi khat le a lawmte`n birthday lopna a beer pe zenzen uh, nitak dorka kikhop a pitu lah hingalsi, biakin sung a angaih a ngaih a , Aw Toupa Ngaidam aw Ngaidam aw, beer chauh hi beer chauh hi, chia kuamah theipihlouh pi, kikou zaizai mawk.

66. Papi khat le a sungkuan te`n inn pawlam a chabi kalh-khum uh, pawtsak utlouhna nei uh zaw hisim, khat pa`n innchawng tung apat a lawmte ladder dohsak a pawtkhe khaukhau, a khenchia khau a kiluai khia, a zizi in gimneihna nei, bottle vuak muveu ahihchia, theisuah, lawmlawmtel, mihing daai zaw kaih zoh di ahi kei chi inchin, thumna toh a panpan leh zou ngiingeei, force ahikei, lungsim ahi, chidan ahi, dik mahmah leh kilawm.

67.Kikhopna khat a le, conductor pa lusu naak lawtel mahmah a chiltui khong kai maimah, naakpuak durdur lai, khuangpupa`n ngaihdeuhmai a khuang khenpuak dum mai, thakhat a conductor pa kiguihzot a dingkhia, koi ah ka tuibuk, chizawmah lai.

68. Nupi khat kianga le alawm khat in, na pasal a melsiat siat toh achih leh, huaibang Salukkhan te khong I ngaihtuah kawma amai, chizeih. Pa khat leuleu lah chu, nitak a minsaplouh dipi samkha hiam a, lupna tung apat sual kidenna thruai, numeite a utlam uah chu a kheelpi guh uh a haat khopmai, chizawmah.

69. Mikhualpa kianga inntekpa`n, Lawma bang meh na duhpeen a, aksa hia, sanga hia, voksa hia, chia dong tuautuau hiveh aw, khual pa`n lah a om-om chi, hilou e na duhduh gen ve, sa bangchu a tam mai, chi thouthou, atawp a khual pa`n le aksa aw, chi. Inntekpa kipan taktakta, na duhduh hon pethei dinmun ah ding leng achihhuaitel maw, thriana, chidaih mai, kibeihdan chuomchuom.

70. Tangval hon in khatvei hoihbeih lawdeuh uh hiama, alak ua khatpa`n deihkhop lawtel mahmah, ekbuksung a uak uak maimah, luak di le omnawn zouzailou, lah uak thouthou. Gim kisalawtel zaw hiding hiven, bawkkhup kawm a mitsi diirdiar inchin a lawmte kiang a thukhak /thuchah bawlta, “ Lawmte aw, banghiam ka chih zenzen leh, ka nu leh pate kiang ah sih khamuanna ka nei chih anagensak un aw”, chisuah phong mai.

71. Biakin khat a le thugentu thugenlai a, khat a tutmun apat kikoukhia, heutupa na thugen a dik hauh kei mai, Jesu ai in Baptishtu Johan a upa zaw kei chiang mai, Jesu chu Pathian toh piangkhawm ahi uh chih le theilou pulpit khong ah na dingtei satliah ua, zah le na zak tehchai kei ua hia? Kum khe rang oh, zuau zuau gengen di hilou, Bible le sim hoihdeuh ve ua, chimawk dan ahi. Thugentu chu amhai mapmap tak ahi di, khuttum a lakthaw mai zuhia.
Source Zogam.com

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Nuihchiam l

Vungzamuan Valte | Friday, 31 August 2012 12:06 | Vungzamuan Valte | Hits: 1490

Koihhoih pawl om leh bang achi dia, huihkhua a lengmang maimai lou ding in.
1. Pasal khat in a zizi thau salua inchin, lupchi`a om venvon maimah chi, zizi toh phalbi khovot nuai a blanket kikop zaw I kikar a huihpi nung huauhuau ahi, a nunga the-banga I bet tiitee di ahih kei ngal-leh, chidan ahi.

2. Papi khat toh nupi khat kihou, pasal penin Heutupa Tunson koi a sem ahi chi, nupi`n FEVICOL ah chi, pasalpen in a naak manchina duakduak e, EFICOR achihna hizawmah.

3. Papi khat in nupi khat kianga na pa uh koi office a kai ahi chia dong, a numei penin third flow-ver ah chi, pasalpan` chita duanduan in a, a paklun awm ve.

4. Pasalte nitaklam tukhawm liiliai, khat pa`n, zi neinawn dek ngeingei leng tuh, achih chiah leh a zi kongkhak a hong daak geugau, pasal pa`n le, ka zizi mah ka nei di.

5. Numei khat in a kisukkhak chianga, eh nanu su chikhanak, khatvei a pasal in zadah lawtel zaw hi dia, bangdia ka nu zahmoh na kou gige eita, na ut leh na nu su gen ve, chigega.

6. Pasal khat kikhawm khin biakin verandah a vandak eu-au kawm a, Sousial obligation pakhat chu zou kihinawn phot a, bawite tu`n koilam ah ikithrip dua le, chidan ahi.

7. Papi khat in a lawmte toh lunch break a ann ne ding chia tukual pempam uh, a lunch box a hon leh malta pumkhat anakigual ngeungau leltak.

8. Khatvei Delhi pasal khat in meh-namsia lunch dia pua, bawsakkha zaw hingei di, namse lawtel mahmah, a office kaipihte`n zusa puul om chia a office sungteng uh pheklekvek uh bangmah mutuanlou, daikhilkhial a lawmpa`n a bekanthu uih vivit ne miaumiau lel.

9. Khatvei office a mi khat in a lunch loupi ne phanphan, ka lawinu`n le tuni lunch hon bawlhoihsak namaizen e chisim geugau, office kaipih numei khat in a lunch box muzoulou, a omlaipen a hon chia nek di dan thei mahmah lou, a tawp a bua, mehpok hive`n vai-numei kulmut in a nethei mah di. Lawmpa lah paulou phunlou hial a a gilvah pingpeng zut hanhan zawmah.

10. Pasal khat in a zi simmohbawl deuh hiding hive`n, nana paikik maidiam chi, a zi`n tuphingphing in I ngaihzawng te`n pasal a neivekta kei dua chizeih, diklawtel zel.

11. Lawmta khat gamvak ua, khatpen singkung apat kin-gangdeuh a hong tuakkhia (kesuk), a lawmpa`n adu na hong kinkumngei chi, daktor kiensak uh, daktor pa`n bangchi kiak a achihleh, khat pa`n “sukkiak” chizawmah.

12. Khatvei mi khat intung apat kia hiveh aw, a lawmte`n veh ua, khatpen in lawma, hihna apat kiak toh inntung apat kiak koi ana zaw a, achih thahah leh nohdok ahi ziang mai.

13. Pasal khat in zi guksawm, a lawmte toh dawnkhawm ua phursang lakloh uh, a zi gukdi lamlam theinawnlou, mangngilh kha. A zizi di lungkham kisa dak 12 khawng satta ahih chia, a zudawnna ua vahoh, bangchi maimah e, ikiguk di la, vachi, apasal in le awle konzui mai di, chi.

14. Khatvei nupa a pawtnalam ua a pasal in khamlawtel mahmah, scooter a kipuak sawm uh, a nupi a nunga belh dekdak, inntekpa`n en vengveng kawm a, “numeite`n chu na pasalte muang tak nahi uh, chikawm a enliam vangvang, lungsim gimtak ahi di.

15. MP pu outhouse a nuambawm sa free om hiding hiven, pasalte va kisutuah khasek ua, beiseih nei chiatchiat chu, kitheisiam kawmtak leh kisuanglah simkawm a, ehem, “nang` na zouta hia?”, kichizeih zel uh achi ve ua. Carrom kap chikhempeuh, a guk a kigelkhe zeuhzeuh ua, MP pu bang amah chauh a tukha belbul sek chi uh.

16. Sungkuan khat le kuatehiam in ann nedia chial uh, phurdeuhmai a kuan nainai uh, a tuntak ua a chialtute intekpa`n inn kongkhak anahong, ann kanelakloh lai ua hiai ah anatu mai un aw, chigeih. A theihthak thak ua leh a chialtunu`n a chiallam anamangngilh.

17. Numei khat le haihotsim zaw hivenchin, office kai di cycle a tai vavauh, cycle shed a koihgaih, nitaklam a khe a pai baubau, inntun nunga theikhe nailo, a zingkar a phawksuah pan.

18. Nupi khat in annhuan zouta chia a sungkuante ann ne dia samkhawm, thumna le neikhin dimdem uh, cooker a hon ua leh tuivuak ana-om maimah, antang kha khalou hizawmah.

19. Papi nih thautuak mahmah Imphal a rickshaw a tuang uh, rickshaw pupa`n gik salua zaw hingei di hia, tamdeuh bill, khatpa`n asiam theihtawp a, lupa manga zaam e chi, rickshaw pupa`n le nangkhoi ani zaam lum e ne, achithahah leh “nang na lum e hai e, eigi nupi na lumteh hai e” chi.

20. Papi khat le sang lawtel mahmah, a zizi lah neu zawmah hiven, mi`n, na nupi a neu si a bangchi`n na lumkhawm ua, achih zenhouh ua leh aman`, khelam lou chu kakitan reng uh, chi.

21. Nupa khat le bazar kai ua a nupitoh scooter a tuang varvar uh hiveh aw, lampi a a lawmte tuakkha a khawlzual, huchia innlam zuan a tai varvar, lawmtawn a a zizi toh kihoulimtoutou uh, inn a tuntak a a tate`n papa ka nu la? Achih ua leh kuamah ana omlou maimah, ehehe, lamtawn a hong houlim zaw hi unga, koi a kia ahia kava en di chia kuankik vangvang, bazar apat a zizi hongpaitou ziahziah, akhai bangchidan ahia achih zenzen leh, hon ngailou na hi di chu, nangmah chauh a tai varvar hivechin chia pai babauh, hehhuai lawtel dia.

22. Papi khat le a zi ommoh lawtel mahmah, a zinpa khat toh kichukha uh hiveh aw, a thawm ging uh ngaikhe dide zawzen, a zinpa`n “kei a gol lua” chi inchin, a nupi`n le, “sathau nuh lechin Pak-sa in teh” chi. Zingkar beltak a intekpa thoukhia , maipum lianpipi tamtak bel a huanding a sawlta, a zi`n hiai zahzah bel ah takenteh achihleh apasal in sathau nuh lechin Pak-sa inteh, chizeih.
23. Naupangte`n Bible chang zir nainai uh,”Vahawmna a liangzang ah a tuang ding a…..” chi uh, apa`n, “bawite a dar ah chi ua a dar ah” chidan ahi.

24. Sande sikul naupangte`n, ke`n ka nu leh pa thumang chi khiukheu uh, heutunu`n pasal naupang khat kianga bangchidan in e chia dong, naupangin, “kei maw, ka nu`n khaini la dia honsawl chianga kuan pahpah”, chidan ahi.

25. Pau siamlouh le poithei lawzen a, rickhaw pu in sumneen lehdi ka neikei achih leh, pasal khat Delhi tungtung in, aw le ikimuh nawnchia`h aw, chizeih, koi a munawn di adiam a.

26. Pasal pilhuntawk kisa khat in Aizawl bazar a avan-zon muzou mahmah lou, beidong hithet a inntung, a sungte`n bang e na va zong chi`a dong uh, ama`n DUM chi, a mukei mah di chu.

27. Numei khat Aizawl a van leidia kuan, dawr neitu kiang a kapi mi`n hap roh achih zenzen leh, khatpen in “a naa ang a sin”, chidaih. Hon pet awh chih chu.

28. Bus ah midangte kianga khat in ka pu he bus hi khoi ah nge a khaam dawn chia dong, kua`man dawnglou, a kumna di a tuntak a hehehe, khaam o khaam o chi tuartuar, driver a khawl kei rengreng, Aizawl ah chu khaam chih kha tuklup theihna mun hidaih mai.

29. Mikhual khat in ann nekham pah, I va khamhma ve, I in thathlung em ni, chia dong uh, ama`n, ni e in thathlung eee, chivang vang zawmah. Na gil a vah a hia chi di sa hilai dep, kisuanglah chihna.

30. Mi`n na zintunna te`n bang hon mehpih ua le, chia a dot ua leh, gendidan om mahmah lou, Banhla ler a duai derder, chia dawng, nahtang lawk chu meh uh himaithei.

31. Kuahiam khat Silchar kholai a vialvak hiveh aw, kizuakte omna bulom tungkha, a taikhiak dek leh manbet uh, gendidan lah thei tuansam lou, kipek gunggung inchin a sana chu mang hiau, kan nawn ngam di lah hilo.

32. Nungak khat le kicheideuh a om, kihisak zawmah, kholai a vakzouphet, insung a limlang a kimelh deuhvel, a zahmoh zawn a khoih leh direct a khoihkha mawk, a khekorten dor kek, underpant lah tenglou, mi lak khong a kamkasak sengsung anahi maimah, lah kikheel der, makhai man chi.

33. Papi khat le nungak heel ching inchin, khatvei a nungak heelna a tapsak a puan kikhuh khat mu, kua na hia na puan hawk in chi gega, ngamkhat a puan kikhuh a laihkhiaksak zenzen leh a tapa pa nungak hel, apa honglut di ngaingamlou a kilukhuh anahi maimah, tuakfuh thou.

34. Lawmte khat in zi neihak law mahmah, a lawmte tate BA khong simta, ama tapa in bebebe chipan pan, bawi mutpuak theih lechin kon mutpuak ut, chidan ahi.

35. Delhi hohpanpan mikhat le nitak a khua lum salawtel mahmah, inntung a kahtou (terrace), mikhat analum derdar, maksalua hiding hiven en vangvang a abiang bengpuak chorh, innsung a tailut, khat pa`n le innsung a delh lut. A inntekpa anahi daih, nop tuak leiluai het kei maw.

36. Lawmta khat le kichouthei sim viau uh, khat pa SDO hiven, a lawmpa pen office tukverh/tawlet a va dak keukau, Khaikokam, en in hiai America tual ka sikna chia a khenuai valak, khatpen in office a gam lai bawl zialzial. America tual sikpa Imphal kholai a necktie ok kawm a slipper toh pai, a chetdan le tuam na e, chi`a changkang sa mahmah uh. K U ku K I Ki zaw gen dahmai ni. Tunitan a hia lawmta te kichouna beilou, kibuaisan deuhdeuh di bang maimah. Pildan tuam mahmah lel, khat pa`n Kuki gam bawl anahi der.

37. Tangval khat le bike a kikhoh varvar inchin, a headlight in nuailam kawk lawdeuh, police patrolling te phupuk zelzul, kitatkhiak ngaihna omlou, zep tualtual maimah uh, a tawp a sum neih teng laksak zawmah uh, pilva`n louh le phatuamlou taka hi.

38. Palsal khat in rickshawm lei venchin, a lawmpa Imphal kholai fan pih, lengtonghoih lei tung a kipeikipei maimah uh, RMC kong a nupi vanzuakte khong hawmdarh zelzul. Inn a tundek ua Chekon lak a siamsimta chi, a hekkoi ngaungau leh phkhri a tuaklut pih dup, a lamwpa`n maktheingei chileltak.

39. Tangval khat le nungak hel dia kuan, a numei omlou, a naute kia om, neulai ahichiang ua khongaihhuai sa, nitak zansawt tan a le numei tunglou lai, tangval pa`n a naute pawkhe zok inchin giahpih lemlum thahah. A khonunga a theih thakthak leh huchizel zel mah anahi uh.

40. Pa Thangvom toh U KKSiam kihouthei mahmah ua, birthday lawm di chia U Siam in sa va tawi, khat pa`n tunghaklua sa, na zangtang hia, achih thahah leh khatpa pai vengveng, kihounawn himhimlou hial uh, a sih tan un le a kihou lam uh kithei lou, pa tak ahituak uh chihna.

Khopi leh khoneu a I thil tuahte kikum le, a mangthang dia pammaih mahmah lawi om hi. Hehna dia laklouh hamham sawm ni. Hon share tei ua le.

Source zogam.com

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10 Hilarious Chinglish Signs

What happens when you mix Chinese and English? Well, you end up with Chinglish(中式英语 – zhōng shì yīng yǔ). Sometimes, Chinglish is just formed by using Chinese grammatical structures in English. Trying to translate Chinese directly into English will give you sentences such as “I very like play basketball” (我很喜欢打篮球 – wǒ hěn xǐ huan dǎ lán qiú) or “I with my friend together have dinner” (我跟我的朋友一起吃晚饭 – wǒ gēn wǒ de péng yǒu yī qǐ chī wǎn fàn). Other times, it is a result of trying to directly translate Chinese words for foreign things. That’s why I’ve had students ask me about “Christmas old man” (圣诞老人 – shèng dàn lǎo rén – Santa Claus) and the “fire chicken” (火鸡 – huǒ jī – turkey). Although the Chinese government is doing its best to eradicate Chinglish, thankfully they aren’t quite there yet. In many tourist sights, you’ll find an abundance of hilarious Chinglish signs. You’ll also find plenty of Chinglish on menus of restaurants, and you can even find it printed on shirts in local markets. For those of you who haven’t had the chance to laugh your ass off at ridiculous Chinglish all around China, I’ve built up a collection of some of my favorite photos from my years of living here. Here are 10 of my favorites